Two years ago, I became a mother. It was one of the best days of my life. From the moment I stared into those little boy’s eyes, my world was filled with so much love and joy. I love being a mother and I know this is what God intended for my life. However, I am more than just a mother and I feel that over time I have forgotten that and lost a little bit of who I am. I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a friend, and I am me. Life pre-babies, I used to love spending time with my family, hanging out with my…
Thank You For The Gift I Never Knew I Needed
“I didn’t give you the gift of life, life gave me the gift of you” The day that I found out I was pregnant with Jackson is one that I will never forget. It was unexpected and filled with emotions I didn’t know I would feel. My husband and I got married at the end of August, and shortly after getting back from our honeymoon, I began to feel sick. I was nauseous and had to pee all the time. I went to the doctors because I wanted to figure out what was wrong. I took a urine test to determine if the cause was one of two things:…
Season of change
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join in the dance” -Alan W. Watts One thing I love about where I live is that I get to experience all four seasons. As one season begins to end, I gear up to embrace the new one to come. Much like the changing seasons, I am about to enter a season of change of my own. I am getting ready to transition from a family of three, to a family of four. To be honest, I haven’t quite embraced it like I do the changing weather. Don’t get me wrong, I…
Finding Joy in the Simple Things
Today, as I watched my son freely run around and play outside, I was reminded just how important it is to find joy in the little things. Lately, life has been getting me down. I often wonder when things will start to “work out” for us. My husband and I live away from family due to his job. That was a really hard change for me. I have always been extremely close to my family. My sister is my best friend. So, not being able to go over and hang out with my family whenever I want to has always been a struggle for me. Aside from distance, we are…
Anxiety
Anxiety. I have struggled with anxiety since I was about 9 years old. Although, back then, I had no idea that’s what it even was. Ever since I was a little girl, I always had trouble with change. My first memory of this was in elementary school. I was in fifth grade and about to make the transition into middle school–that meant a new building, all new teachers, and new faces. When the first day of sixth grade arrived, my body didn’t know how to handle it. I felt so sick to my stomach and would just cry on the stairs uncontrollably. I was constantly late to school because I…
What I wish I knew
There are so many things that I wish I knew before becoming a mother. Sure, everyone tells you its a really hard job. There are a lot of tears, a lot of sleepless nights, and a lot of diaper changes. Here are some of the things I wish I could have told myself: 1. There will be many tears shed–and most of them will be from you. Motherhood is so full of uncertainty. The baby cries and cries and you have no idea why. The baby won’t sleep, which means you don’t sleep. You constantly feel like you’re doing everything wrong. Mix all of that together and you are just…
Beautiful Mess
Ladies…let’s get real about motherhood. I’m a first time mom, and on social media, I look like I have it all together. Reality: motherhood is a beautiful mess. Since birth, my son was diagnosed with acid reflux. It’s so bad to the point where he has been on medication for it since he was 4 weeks old. So, because of his painful reflux, he would never sleep, would cry constantly and needed to be held 24/7. On top of all of that, I was dealing with postpartum anxiety. I live over an hour away from family and was constantly calling my mother hyperventilating because my son wouldn’t stop crying and I…
