Two years ago, I became a mother. It was one of the best days of my life. From the moment I stared into those little boy’s eyes, my world was filled with so much love and joy. I love being a mother and I know this is what God intended for my life. However, I am more than just a mother and I feel that over time I have forgotten that and lost a little bit of who I am. I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a friend, and I am me.
Life pre-babies, I used to love spending time with my family, hanging out with my boyfriend (my now husband) and getting together with friends. I lived a pretty care-free life. My time was my own and I was able to spend it doing the things that I loved. I used to live for doing my hair and makeup everyday. Date nights with my husband were endless. Spontaneous trips were a thing. I could binge watch my favorite shows on Netflix and then end the night with a long hot shower.
Motherhood– I became a mother and everything changed. My whole life suddenly belonged to my kids. Nearly every minute of every day was spent taking care of them and their needs. I began to start feeling guilty any time I wanted to do something for myself. Long hot showers became a thing of the past. I walk around bare faced with my hair an absolute mess most days. I am always spending my money on the boys, whether it’s clothes or toys. Half of the time I forget to eat because I am so busy with them all day long. The days are sometimes tough, sometimes they feel like they will ever end. Most days however are wonderful and beautiful! My kids are my world and I was made to care for them. I am a mother, but I am also more than that.
Marriage– one thing that has fallen to the wayside is my relationship with my husband. Days with the boys are so crazy and busy that I often forget to ask him how his day was. I love my husband more than anything, but time alone these days is very hard to come by. The majority of the time I am putting my kids ahead of him. Time with your spouse is so important. I can’t remember the last time we went on a solo date. Not having sitters close by makes things more difficult. But that’s when you just have to get creative and make some fun at-home date nights when the kids go to bed. His needs and feelings are just as valuable as my sons. I am a wife.
Friendships– life gets busy and it’s natural to lose connections with people. However, I believe that friendship and fellowship are so important. It’s great to get out and have some adult conversation. I have been wanting to make more of an effort to spend time with friends. Again, we don’t live super close to friends and family anymore, but it’s still possible to see some of them every once and a while. So, call or text a friend you haven’t seen lately and bring the kids if you have to! I am a friend.
Me time– not sure I even know what that is anymore. I always feel that if I take time for myself, even if it’s an extra 5 minutes in the shower, that I’m being selfish. I am a mom now and all of my time belongs to my children. This is the life I signed up for. But why do we feel that way? Why do we put that kind of burden on ourselves? Being a mom isn’t a death sentence to who you are–it’s about finding that right balance. If all you have time for that day is 5 minutes to drink that hot cup of coffee, drink it! If you have to decide between taking a hot bath or doing the dishes, take the bath! You want to go out for a girls night? Do it! Your kids will be fine and they won’t think you love them any less. I used to feel that my kids deserved all of me. I’m now realizing that’s not true. They actually deserve the best version of me. You need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of others. Like the popular quote states, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. You need to care for yourself because both you and your kids deserve it. I am me.
It’s easy to lose yourself once you become a mother, but we need to remember that the person we were before we had children is still there. We need to be gracious and take time for ourselves. We need to fill our cup so we can pour into others. I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a friend, I am me.
